


Blue The Janitor

by 99sofia99



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Coming Out, Dialogue Heavy, First Kiss, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23910019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/99sofia99/pseuds/99sofia99
Summary: Based on Season 4 Episode 7 "Ugly", this scene:https://youtu.be/XouPikiGiSsHouse jokes, like he always does. Wilson is onto something.
Relationships: Greg House/James Wilson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 154





	Blue The Janitor

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing lmao I don't ever write anything usually... Have fun, or something

"Where did you get those keys?“ Wilson asked, leaning against the door as House was fiddling with the lock.

„Blew the janitor.“ The door was still not showing any signs of opening. Wilson took a moment to reconsider what House had just said – 

„What?“, he asked, confused. „You mean Lou. His name’s Lou.“

„Oops. Owe him an apology. No, I mean the new guy they hired. Young, fit, great hair. Like a latino Chase. Just turns me on when he sweeps the floor like that.“  
Wilson turned to him, frowning, as the door finally clicked open.

„I thought your experimentation phase ended in college. Why pick it back up now?“

House stared at him. „You actually believed that.“

„What? If there’s anything about you that doesn’t surprise me, it’s you bribing random strangers into doing you favors in exchange for sex.“

House didn’t answer, just shot Wilson a look and then sat down at the desk, turning on the computer. The door fell closed behind them. Wilson started pacing around the room as House booted up the PC.

„So, why a blow job? You’re a department head. You can afford to slip him a hundred.“

„Well, it’s not nearly as hot. Besides, I was kidding. I told Lou or Blue, or Boo, or whatever, that I needed to look at security camera footage to find out where my patient escaped. The guy is all foam and no beer.“

House was staring at the screen intently, clicking through folders of video material of the last several days. After a few moments of silence, Wilson spoke again.

„You did it, didn’t you.“

There was a pause. Wilson was staring at House like he was figuring something out. He held out his hands in defense. „Don’t say anything. I’m having a you moment.“

House opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again. He turned around in the chair and looked up at Wilson questioningly.

„You told me that story thinking I wouldn’t believe it, so in case rumours start spreading I would think this is just another way for you to mess with me.“ Wilson had stopped pacing and was looking at House triumphantly, hands on his hips. „You were trying to hide something from me.“

„Yeah, I’m having a sexual awakening. All those decades of repressed feelings finally coming out. Explains a lot actually; obsession with sneakers, always hitting on Chase…“

Wilson raised a suspicious eyebrow. „Huh. Sounds almost like you’re overcompensating for something.“

House started annoyingly bumping his cane against the floor. „If you wanna have an actual me moment, you’ve got a lot to learn, wonder boy.“

„You didn’t deny it.“

House rolled his eyes. „I’m not gay mommy, I promise. You don’t have to send me to Jesus camp. Now, can we please get to what we actually came to do, looking at beautiful women?“

Wilson frowned. „You’re not gay.“

„I’m not gay. Your turn.“

„You still didn’t deny my claim, House. You did sleep with that guy.“

„Does a five minute blowjob in the supply closet fall under the definition of sex?“

Wilson grinned. „I was right.“

House stared at him, grimly. „Oh, don’t stroke your ego, Jimmy. It took you over a decade to figure out. Thirteen needed two days.“

„Figure out what?“, Wilson asked suspiciously.

„Oh god, don’t make me do it…“, House groaned.

„You’re gonna come out to me.“ 

„No I’m not. This isn’t high school.“

Wilson ignored him. „So, which letter is it? L, G, B, T, Q, Y, M, C, A,… There is an endless list to choose from.“

„I’m a lesbian, obviously.“ House turned back to the computer screen and clicked on a video. 

„You’re deflecting. Trust me, we’re gonna talk about this again“, Wilson said, but decided to let it go for now. He sat down beside House. The ducklings on the screen were debating the causes of a new symptom while shooting the camera uncomfortable looks intermittently. „That’s Thirteen?“

„I’m pretty sure she likes it both ways.“

Wilson raised an eyebrow at House. „And…?“

„Just thought you’d like to know.“

„You’re an idiot. Is it that hard to just say ‚I’m bisexual‘?“

House turned and they made eye contact. After a moment of silence, House spoke up again.

„Well, if it’s not that hard, how come you never came out to me?“ House was staring Wilson straight in the eye.

„Wha- What?!“ Wilson pushed his chair back, creating a gap in between them. His face was blushing rapidly.  
House rolled his eyes. „You’ve been friends with me for over a decade. You think I haven’t figured it out?“

„I don’t know what you’re talking about“, Wilson spat, clearly thrown off balance.

„It’s not like I’m the only one. They have a betting pool in radiology about when you’re gonna have your sexual awakening and start marrying all the male nurses.“

Wilson said nothing, just stared at House in open-mouthed disbelief. Then, suddenly, the expression turned into a pained, unsure one. „Look, House, I’m not ready for this. I don’t know if I will ever be.“

House was still looking at him, the hard stare softening ever so slightly.

„How did you know?“, Wilson asked.

Houses eyes widened. „Seriously? It’s blatantly obvious!“

„No, I mean how did you know you weren’t straight.“

„Well, Jimmy, when a man and a man like each other very much, they share a special hug and…“

„Oh come on!“

„It’s not that complicated! I like chicks, I like dicks. End of story.“

They went silent for a while, staring back at the flimmering screen, the initial purpose of breaking into the tech room long forgotten.

„I’ve never even kissed a dude.“

„Never too late.“

Wilson scoffed. „Great, so I can pathetically become the suddenly-gay man whore from oncology, just like everybody predicted.“

„You know, you can be gay without being a man whore. Then again, you not being a whore might be a challenging concept for little Jimmy to understand…“, House contemplated, pulling a face.

„I don’t even know if I’m gay!“, Wilson exclaimed. 

„Well you’re lucky, cause I do.“

Wilson rolled his eyes. „Well, you must be psychic.“

„No, I must be able to come to logical conclusions through observations of other peoples behavior. Which, if you think about it, is exactly what psychics do...“

Wilson sighed. „So, what is it then? I blow dry my hair, I iron my socks? I know too much The Village People trivia? You can spare me the humiliation of projecting every stereotype there is onto me, like that proves anything.“

Houses expression turned dark for a split second as he looked down. „Yeah.“

„What?"

„It’s not the stereotypes.“

Wilson was shooting him insecure looks, not daring to make eye contact, while House leaned back in his chair.

„You’ve been married three times. To three different women. You follow the same cycle each time, you befriend a needy woman who you think needs you, she falls in love and jumps you, and your hero complex won’t let you turn her down. You get married, and you like having your wives, until you don’t anymore, until it’s boring. And that’s when you realise you were never in this for love or sex, you just needed someone to keep you distracted. Those marriages never last“, House paused, „actually, none of your relationships ever last. Except one. The one with your best friend. In fact, said friendship is part of the reason your marriages break apart. Now how could that possibly…“

„Stop“, Wilson breathed, eyes fixed at the floor.

„Oh come on! You think I don’t notice when a man makes googly eyes at me for 15 years?“

Wilson let out an angry laugh. „I do not make googly eyes–"

House snorted. „No, you make a very unconvincing impression of a guy who isn’t making googly eyes.“

Wilson sank back in his chair in defeat. „There’s nothing I can say to convince you otherwise?“

„Nope.“

„Then... How do we deal with this?“

House looked to the ceiling for dramatic effect, fake-contemplating ideas, before speaking. „Well, I could hit us both in the head with my cane and give us concussions so we can pretend this whole conversation was just a scary fever dream. Or… You could use this opportunity to finally kiss a dude.“

Wilson was gaping at him.

„Your words, not mine“, House stated. „Unless of course you weren’t actually confirming my previous assumption with your answer, in which case I would have to hit you in the head with my cane so you forget…“ He made a waving gesture with his hand. „You get the deal.“

Wilson was still gaping.

„Close your mouth before you start drooling.“

Wilson shook his head as if trying to bring himself back to reality. „I…“, he started, but stopped immediately.

„Take your time.“ House was smirking.

Wilson brought a hand to his eyes, rubbing. „How do I even…?“

„Is that a yes?“

„No… Yes? No! I don’t know!“

House was trying not to smile, but it was difficult. 

Wilson groaned and slumped back in his chair. „God, I hate this! Stop acting so smug, you’re not gonna get a trophy for having me all figured out.“

„You’re scared“, House accused.

Wilson stayed silent.

„You want me to make the first move.“

Wilson looked back at him, shooting him an expectant look. House didn’t move.

„Well you can’t blame me“, Wilson said slowly, „I’m the… virgin. I’m gonna need guidance.“

„Right“, House said. He was still frozen in place.

„Now you’re scared“, Wilson accused. 

„No, I’m too horny to move“, House joked. Wilson cringed.

They fell silent for a while as House used his feet to push his chair forward until their knees were touching.

„So, how did you figure it out?“, he asked, sitting up in his chair and leaning forward slightly.

„Figure out what?“, Wilson asked, still slouched in his seat.

„That I actually had sex… with a janitor.“ House put a hand on Wilsons knee and started slowly running circles around it with his fingertips.

„I already told you. You looked guilty.“ Wilson was watching the touch with interest and House felt him drift forward slightly. He wanted to keep talking, but couldn’t think of anything.

„When was the first time you kissed a guy?“, it was Wilsons turn to break the silence. He had sat up in his chair as well.

House stopped abruptly and pulled his hand away.

„No“, Wilson flinched and pulled at Houses hand to put it right back where it was. It laid still on Wilsons right thigh.

House sighed. „First year of med school“, he said as his hand trailed on, „drunk buddy thing.“

Wilson shifted his weight to his left, leaning on the armrest. „And?“

„What and?“, House gave him an exasperated look, but didn’t pull away this time.

Wilson tilted his head forward. „I want details“, he said in a low voice.

House rolled his eyes. „You’re a horny bastard.“ His hand came to rest on Wilsons hip, drawing circles with his thumb.

„This was your idea“, Wilson said, brushing his fingertips against Houses free hand.

„We were both juniors. We were bored. I blew him.“ Wilsons breath hitched ever so slightly.

„Wish I’d been there“, Wilson said, putting his palm into Houses.

House leaned back and grunted. „You were twelve years old! Unless you were into that kind of…“

„Instead of him“, Wilson finished, rolling his eyes.  
House brought his hand up from Wilson’s thigh and tipped his chin upwards slightly. They were both breathing fast when their lips met chastely. House cupped Wilsons face with his hand as Wilson brought his to Houses shoulders. When they broke apart after a few seconds, House parted his thighs and pulled Wilson up to sit on his good leg.

„So, what’s it like kissing a dude? I’m really curious about it“, he asked, raising his eyebrows at Wilson.  
Wilson smiled. „It’s good“, he said, pecking House on the lips, „It’s good.“


End file.
